I resolve not to smile so much in public.

Look at this picture from our local paper. Aren't Mike and Lauren so so cute! Who is that completely demented looking woman hanging out with them? Good lord! I have NO idea what I was doing when they snapped this but I shouldn't do it again!



Good thing no one will see it, only people who get the paper and look at the front page. uhg!!

Goodbye First Trimester!

Today is the last day of my first trimester (or maybe it was last week! Depends on the website/book you consult!) So I would like everyone to join me in a toast of farewell to my old friend. Goodbye, first trimester! I feel quite confident that our paths will never again cross in this lifetime, so I wish you well as you leave. Forever. Now GO. No hug for you!

Right on schedule, I think I feel a little bit better today! I was hungry this morning! It actually took me a while to figure out what was wrong with my stomach, because it has been several weeks since I felt like eating anything. The anti-nausea medication makes it possible to swallow without gagging, but food hadn't sounded good until today. What was I hungry for? Malt-o-meal! With toast! Told ya'll I know how to party!

In other news. Um. I DROPPED my new laptop. Not even dropped it, more like "flung it like a frisbee." I am so irritated with myself. Stupid power cord! Stupid engineers for not inventing everlasting power supplies yet! If they would have just made an eternal battery already, I wouldn't have had to plug in my laptop, and I wouldn't have forgotten it was plugged in, tried to walk with it and tripped on the damn cord. Science should anticipate my clumsiness and try harder to work around me. So. Computer in pieces, term paper due on Friday night (that I am now trying to recreate- with breaks for blogging because oh well) and... isn't that enough?

I did not get the extended warranty on the laptop, and I am sticking by that as a solid decision. I never ever buy warranties anyway, because my gambling heart will not allow me to. Just kidding, my theory is I save a couple of hundred bucks on each major purchase and then that is like an imaginary reserve that I have saved over the years. So when I have to dip into it occasionally for asinine things like replacing a 6 week old laptop (MY GOD) I still come out ahead.

Mike is so nice. SO nice. I called him and he said oh bring it in and I will give it to our tech guys to take home and I will give you my laptop so you can keep working. And it didn't even occur to me that he might be mad at me. Not until someone said, was Mike mad, did it even enter my mind how lucky I am that he doesn't freak out about stuff like this. Then I started feeling bad about how I acted to him this weekend, like when I went out and stopped him from mowing the yard so I could remind him of the proper uses of a coaster. It wasn't just him, I was telling everyone off this weekend. I even lectured a wrong number! Someone hung up on me after I sweetly said "I am so sorry, there is no Joe here, I think you have the wrong number." SLAM. I got mad and texted him "Hey, when I say 'sorry, wrong number,' you are supposed to say 'sorry.' Then I will answer 'no problem.' Now you know what to do next time." He texted back "ok" and I felt all vindicated but it is possible that I might just be a scary jerk. Hm.

I think I will go sit in time out for a while.

More funny bug and random other stuff

Lauren went to sleep upside down last night, with her feet on her pillow. I went in and turned her and covered her up with her blanket. She woke up, touched my cheek and mumbled "Oh, Mommy, thank you for put me where I go!" Part of me wants to freeze her and enjoy this perfect little phase forever, but the rest of me is really excited to see what comes next. I think that must just be part of being a parent, constantly grieving a tiny bit that everything changes so fast but always loving what they are right then.

I am on the couch or in bed almost all the time right now, hopefully I will get better soon but I am still just about as sick as I have been. Soon, right? In the meantime I am watching such great TV! I will do some reviews for you! (It's either TV reviews or I can tell you the funny story about when I threw up on the wall. Let's do TV!)

Glee- SO totally cute and fun! I hope musicals are going to be the new big thing. Bollywood has it right! Bring me cheesy song and dance numbers! Enjoy it now, because this seems like one that will be good for only a season or two. (It's not my fault that Grey's Anatomy pissed me off so much that now I have a fear of TV commitment. I only expect new show relationships to be little flings. And really, with some shows that is plenty! Remember Dexter? Oh my god, that first season was totally disturbing and genius! But one season was enough, I watched a little of season 2 and I haven't even read recaps after that! Same with Weeds, it's almost like those should have been miniseries and not long term shows. Now that I think about it, 6 Feet Under was kind of a short term thing for me too. Hmmmm. Maybe it's not them it's me!) Anyway, Glee is fun and you should watch it at least once.

True Blood- Hey Twilight? Are you listening? THIS is how you do vampires! (Well, I guess everyone is entitled their own personal preference about our thirsty friends, but dammit, I want some blood and gore and death. And I also want it to be campy and sexy. That is what bugged me about Twilight- there really should be a downside to becoming a creature of darkness. There has to be a price! Not sparkles and parties and endless money and clothes and SUNLIGHT. Good god. If a vampire offers to turn you it should be a hard choice to make! Just my old grumpy opinion. Back in my day we read Ann Rice and we LIKED IT ALL TRAGIC.) Anyway, True Blood is surprisingly good, but you should watch it on DVD so you don't have to wait out all the cliffhangers until next week. At the end of every episode someone is dead- OR ARE THEY?

Football- This may not come as a shock to you the way it did to me, but football is extremely fun to watch! I like it! I haven't just sat down to watch it in... ever? I had no idea! Sorry I am so late to the party, America! I am starting to have opinions on the different commentators and I can kind of remember who is having a good season. Maybe next year I will be ready for a fantasy team! So, I recommend football watching for everyone!

More later, I have lots and lots of opinions to share!

My funny bug!

Lauren: May I have some more candy please?
Me: No sweetie, I am sorry! It is too late! Here, have a pear instead!
Lauren: (sweetly) Mommy?
Me: (here it comes!) Yes?
Lauren: Mommy, if you were little? And you asked me for candy? I would say "YES, HAVE THE WHOLE BAG!" (with dramatic sweeping arm gesture!)

Where does she get these things!! Of course I was so charmed by this I gave her the whole bag (it only had 2 more in it! By the time I cleaned out all the stuff that was a choking hazard/ gross/ snickers [those are for me] there were only a few things left in her bag!

Speaking of "where does she get these things..." Jason asked a few days ago if we had told Lauren yet about the new baby. No, we have not, but check out what she told my dad this weekend:

"Gramps, Mommy has a BABY. Did you know that? It's LITTLE (fingers held up to show how little.) It's still too little but when it gets big enough it will come to our house!"

Now, she is smart but I cannot see her deducing all of that just from overhearing our conversations. I think someone must have told her but we haven't figured out who it was yet. And I am totally fine with that because they obviously did a terrific job of explaining things! I like the words they used and when we talk about this we will use similar phrases. So, now I don't have to decide when is the best time to talk to her!

Arizona's looking good to me!

Dear Time Change,

Just... GO TO HELL ALREADY. Every year I ask you not to come back but here you are again, completely unwelcome, to deny me sleep when I need it the most!

What POSSIBLE purpose does it serve for my child to wake up at 5 AM instead of 6? And, like every other year, you bring some extra dark magic to mess up the rest of the night too. The last two nights she was up until 11 and then woke up on all the odd hours to talk to me about important issues like episodes of Clifford the Big Red Dog.

And things had been going so well lately, Time Change! I finally had her going to sleep at 8:30 and getting up at 6! That was working for us! She is totally exhausted today, which means a long nap at school and then another late bedtime... it is going to take me two weeks to get us back on track! How do you even DO this? Cause she doesn't know how to tell time! Not really! How can numbers on a clock rock your world when you don't really know what they mean? I am SO over you- next time stay away!

Bite me,
Jenn

All Saints Day

Isn't Lauren so little? I always forget how close she is to being a baby. It's hard to remember when she is acting like a snotty pre-teen! But she is still my baby girl!

Happy Howl-o-een everyone! My ex spelled "Halloween" that way and I will never stop being tickled by that. I will speak no disparaging words about him today though, because I like my life very much and he was a part of the journey getting me to right here right now.

Let's talk about right here right now! The baby is doing great from what we can hear on the doppler! The heartbeat is strong and getting louder and I can hear all kinds of movement going on in there. Lots of swishing and moving around. As for the baby container... well, this pregnancy experience leaves JUST a little to be desired. Even forgetting all the drama about the scary tumors this hasn't been a super fun ride so far. Other than the getting a new baby part of it, I can't say that I am a giant fan of the actual pregnancy experience. I have been sick sick SICK.

For example, sometime last week my goal weight- the number I have quested after for YEARS and joined weight watchers I don't know how many times in pursuit of- finally appeared on my bathroom scale. Yay? No! Bad! (Well, at least now I know what I have to do to lose that stubborn 10 pounds: barf almost everything for weeks and weeks!) My doctor finally gave me some anti-nausea stuff which is definitely helping but not quite as much as I was hoping it would. Now I can eat without gagging and function normally but I still don't feel GOOD. Soon though! I lost 6 pounds first trimester with Lauren but was fine by 14 weeks and still managed to put on too much weight!

In addition to the nausea I have a lot of crampy pains, caused by the fibroids. I made a big mistake on Friday by joining in the daycare Halloween parade. We walked about half a mile pulling wagons and the effort was enough to double me over with cramps. I couldn't even make it back to my car because the pain was so severe. I guess the doctors were serious about me limiting my activities to almost nothing- when I called to report this they said (well, first they said "duh we told you this") that I can expect more of the same for the rest of this pregnancy. So, I am very still now, as still as you can be with a 3 year old! No bedrest yet, just activity restriction.

I have spent a lot of my life fighting with my body. Body: be smaller, stop eating, get pregnant now, run faster, I mean it this time.... I kind of understand my body on this one though- I see why we get pregnant SO reluctantly. Pregnancy really does not agree with me! I was sick like this last time too but I didn't DARE tell anyone. I was afraid people would totally abandon me. After years of complaining about NOT getting pregnant, "My god what the hell is she bitching about now?!" Plus I was so grateful to be there that I didn't care if I was sick. And I am just as grateful and excited this time too but now I have a blog honesty policy and I am not sparing you! This is a short term thing, you can take it! Next up: I will bitch about headaches for a while and soon after that I will start gaining too much weight and they will take away my sugar. I will not like that. Then insomnia and last of all more nausea. Also I will pee in my pants but we will all laugh at that. There are quite a few things to cover in the next six months! (More about the excited and grateful side of this another time!)

Apple Bread

(Modified slightly from allrecipes.com)

This is SO GOOD and so easy! Fun fall dessert and the perfect thing to do with all those apples from the orchard! They are supposed to be apple bars but they come out more like a cake or a bread. Fabulous!

Ingredients
1/2 cup melted butter
1 cup white sugar
1 egg
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 cup apples - peeled, cored and chopped
1/2 cup oats
1/2 cup raisins

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
Grease and flour 8x8 inch baking pan.
In a large bowl, mix melted butter with sugar and egg.
Mix in flour, baking soda, and cinnamon, and then stir in apple and walnuts.
Spread batter into prepared pan.
Bake for approximately 40 minutes, or until a small knife inserted in the center comes out clean.